Up The Creek Without A Paddle
by Blue Wings of the Moon
Summary: 1.Do not read fanfiction while eating jellybeans when you have a hyperactive imagination 2.Always close your windows when it rains.If not,the rain gets in and your counter gets wet.If both rules are broken,the Espada will enter from said window in house


Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Bleach or anything to do with it…Only fan stuff like pictures, doushinji and gachapon stuff... what?

A/N: Something different…Mega random idea that poped into my head when it rained awhile ago. Was used as a starter for the story but the storyline...will vary... Rated T for swearing... Heck any Fanfic with Grimmjow in it MUST have a T rating!

If I wrote any kind of mistakes or funny lines tell me please.... I hate mistakes. -_-TT

By the way this really happened to me, the front part anyways... Enjoy XD

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The rain pelted down on me as I ran through the rain. I was running as fast as I could down the hill which my school was on.

I mean seriously, why would anyone build a school on a hill? It's really tiring to get to school and it's actually really hard to run down a hill without falling over especially now since its raining.

I turned left and proceeded to sprint down two blocks before reaching my apartment. As I started to climb the stairs, my hair was dripping and my shoes were soaking wet.

I cursed myself for not bringing an umbrella and stopped at the fourth floor.

My clothes were absolutely drenched and what made matters worse is that our uniform has a white shirt. The fabric clung to my skin making it feel extremely cold.

My hands fumbled in my pockets, looking for the damned house keys. Phone? Nope. Wallet? Nope. 10 dollars? Nope. House key with a Konata Key ring? Yes!

I opened the door, took off my shoes and stepped inside. I turned around, expecting my little sister to be there in front of the computer watching anime while drawing.

That's right, WHILE and she doesn't pause the show or look up. Hell she can't even understand what they were talking about ¾ of the time. Scratch that, she can't understand Japanese so it's all the time.

But instead, there was nobody. I checked all the rooms but they were all void of any forms of life.

Oh…My…Gawd…

I screamed. That girl never goes out alone; she would rather stay at home and draw what looks like a girl in some form of 'fashionable' or original clothing when in fact she copies clothes from anime's. That is what I call copyright infringement.

Anyways, she was much too young to go shopping by herself. Besides, she doesn't have any money so she can't go shopping. Moreover, it's raining cats and dogs out there!

And that is how I have concluded she had been abducted, most probably by aliens.

My heart was beating erratically and I was out of breath, my legs were turning to jelly as the thunderstorm continued its rampage.

I went over to the phone and started to dial for my mother. Maybe my sister did really go out and if that happens, my mom would definitely be the first to know 'cause my little sis was too much of a goody two shoes not to tell her.

"You have reached mailbox number ….." I herd the robotic voice and put down the phone. I redialed her number again and waited, only to hear the voice of that annoying machine. I called again and again only to meet with the same results. I was even counting how many times I tried to call.

By the time I lost count, I was panicking on the inside. My mom would never have switched her phone off or ignore my calls. I could even remember her charging it last night. And then it hit me.

She too was abducted by aliens.

By now I was going into hyperventilation and the room seemed to be spinning. They're going to get me next; I've seen it in all the movies! Millions of other thoughts filled my mind as I attempted to calm down

I steadied my breathing as I went into my room and started to dry myself with a towel. I switched on my laptop and slumped onto my bed. Maybe reading some fan fiction will calm me down.

It wasn't before long that I have completely forgotten the incident with my sister, my mom and the aliens. Instead I was happily reading some wonderful bleach fanfiction and eating a bowl of jellybeans. Yum Yum…

However all that joy and happiness was dashed with a bright flash of lighting that was followed with a low rumble. The power went out. I screamed as I started to remember that I was alone and my family was probably being held by aliens. Or worse, killed off by the Espada.

Yes, because of all that fanfiction and jellybeans, I was currently determined that the Espada were the culprits. They're going to kill me and live in my house and use it as a Vacation home.

I saw a flash of white dash past and I screamed and hid under my blanket. That white flash was moving too fast that I couldn't see what it was. But it was vaguely the size of a large animal.

Large animal = Big cat = Panther = Grimmjow = Espada coming to kill me?

So my insane train of thought decided that Grimmjow along with a group of other Espada have come to kill me for my house. And Jellybeans. The heavy thunderstorm was not helping the situation. Nor the high amount or sugar in my blood system.

CRASH

My insane sugar fueled rambling was interrupted with what sounds like a crash of pots and pans coming from the kitchen. I jumped and waited for any other noise.

Nothing.

I waited for what seemed like forever until I decided to check out the situation. I have also calmed down and recovered from my temporary sugar rush so my rationality came back along with my brain.

As I walked into the kitchen I saw… Nothing… Everything looked normal and nothing was out of place. I was beginning to question my sanity when I saw the window was slightly ajar. The rainwater was splattering in and the counter was wet.

"Damn it!" I closed the window shut and started cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. After the cleaning was done, I decided to look for the source of the loud sound from before. I opened the door to the bathroom in the kitchen and my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. My mouth hung open and there was absolute silence. There was only one thing I could think of at the time. Holy mother of all jelly babies!

Right there standing in my bathroom was the Espada. Correction. The Espada were on all fours on the floor. Another correction. There was only 4 Espada. Namely the Cutaro, the Quinta, the Sexta and the Octova. This means Ulquorria, Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Szayel were all sprawled out on my bathroom floor.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I mean come on! The Espada here in my house? Why my house I'm very sure other people are much more interesting than me.

"She can't see us right?" asked Nnoitra.

"She shouldn't be able to. And according to my research before she has no chance of…" replied the ever informed Szayel

"ESPADA!?! Holy crap… too much jellybeans and fanfiction for me. I must be seeing things. Right?"

The four unexpected visitors stared at me in shock and disbelief. Their eyes widened slightly.

"You can see us human trash?" I cringed; I haven't been called that for awhile. Yep it's the Espada alright.

"Yes Cutaro. I can. In fact I know each and everyone of you. Especially Grimmy over there." I said pointing to the blue haired Espada. What in the world was I doing?

I then started to notice what they were doing. I squatted down to eye level.

"What are you guys doing on the floor? And why my house?" I asked with my hands crossed behind my back while hoping that they won't kill me.

"We broke the damn fucking mirror." Grimmjow replied while pointing at the space where the oval mirror once was. I looked around to find shards of it on the floor.

"Broke my mirror?" I sighed and went take a broom to sweep it all up. The pieces of reflective glass were quickly swept up due to the fact that I sweep a lot because I break a lot of stuff. Mainly fragile things like vases and glass ornaments. Who knew that the Espada was as troublesome as me?

"Why are you in my house anyways? Trying to get out of the rain?" I asked sarcastically while dumping the shards of sharp glass into the bin.

"As a matter of fact human trash, yes." I flinched at the word human remembering that these people in front of me were not human.

"I…I'm not human, not a normal one anyways…" My voice softened at the end. I wasn't lying. I don't have that many friends and people usually avoided me like the plague. Probably because I normally have a depressed look on my face. Why? Well seeing stuff like spirits isn't as happy and fun as it seems.

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys, I have what people call a 'Third eye'. No it's not some weird disease or mutation that causes me to have three eyes. It means that I am spiritually aware and can see dead people. Don't think I'm lucky; it's a terrible gift. Especially since this town is…

"Oi Onna, are you deaf!?!" I looked up to see all four of them looking at me. I jerked backwards as my mind started to process more clearly. The after effects of a sugar high sure sucks…

"Wha…What we…were you saying?" I asked feeling their heavy gaze on me.

"Why are there so many of them here?" Nnoitra asked while pointing behind me. He had a slightly shocked voice but that was probably my imagination.

I turned around to see spirits everywhere. Sitting on the counter and on the floor, sleeping on the sofa and at the door. (Rhymed... heh…)

From the corner of my eyes I could see the four of them waiting for my reaction. I turned back to them.

"What them?" I said pointing to some of the spirits lying around nearby. "The situation here's not as bad. It's still pretty spacious. Better than the last few times anyways." I shrugged and shook my head nonchalantly. Yes, this whole town, this whole country is haunted and plagued with spirits.

You're probably wondering why I'm not freaking out over the ghosts. Simple, these spirits were harmless. Very annoying yes, but definitely much less dangerous than aliens and Espada who could destroy me with their hands tied behind their backs.

"Better? This place is fucking filled to the brim! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you blind!?!" I ignored Grimmjow and went into my room. One of the few places which the spirits seemed to avoid. I walked over to my desk and pulled out a box from the drawer.

"Should I open it?" I said to no one in particular. I nodded and sat on the edge of my bed with the box on my lap. The box was nothing special really; it was just an old wooden box with the emblem of the kanji '王' on it. It was what my mother called the family heirloom and it was passed on to the eldest daughters of the family.I looked up to see piercing golden orbs staring right at me.

I yelped and scampered under my blanket. I held my breath for a short while before peeking out from below the sheets. The invaders were staring at me as if they've never seen this much of a reaction from a girl before. They probably haven't.

"Ye...Yes?" I replied curtly as so not to incur the wrath of any of these dangerous Espada.

"What is your name?" asked the ever so calm Szayel as he shifts his glasses.

"Err... I'm Ou Shikei. It's a pleasure meeting the Espada." I got off the bed and bowed slightly.

"Care to explain why you know who we are trash?" I relaxed a little. Since they are not showing signs of intent to kill me, this was actually going to be fun.

"Well you see there's this anime called Bleach…" I started.

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Well I'm done with the first chapter wow... This is going to be epic.... and weird. Ou Shikei is my official Japanese name. Weird right?

R&R pls... and also please review my other story Diary of a Hollow Lizard...

Miyako: Promoting your other fic... smart...

Me: But.. my final chapter had no reviews... *Cries* T_T NO REVIEWS I SUCK...

Miyuki: Oh... stop crying this story should be more sucessful! =)

Me: I hope so Miyuki- Chan....

Miyako: So what are you waiting for? Cheer her up... she's making my uniform all wet. Review this story at least. -_-

Miyuki: I have candy for all who review XD


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